Kid's Science Answers

This came as an e-mail forward, and probably isn't even true. It's fun to think that a kid really said them, though.

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.



Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________ ________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

New Job!

After 12 1/2 years in veterinary medicine, I am mostly out. I'm only going to be working at the clinic for like one Saturday a month. I gave my two weeks notice at the gym this afternoon.

Why, you ask? On Friday I accepted the position of Special Projects Coordinator at the Milford Memorial Library! Here is a link to the website: Milford Memorial Library. And if my Facebook pals would be so kind to become fans of the page, I'd greatly appreciate it! Link: Milford Memorial Library on Facebook.

I start tomorrow doing some training. I'm looking forward to this experience, and new beginning.

For those that remember Brando

Brando stayed with my ex when we split, and he's doing very well. I
think it did him good to get away from Grant and Harry in particular.
Yeah, he's fat, but he's 12 1/2 and a spoiled only pet. It hurt
leaving him behind, but it was what was best for him.

My mom still gets visitation, and gets him for playdates with her dog,
Rusty, who is 2 months older than Brando. The two of them are best
friends.

Good Times!

I know that all of you are going to find it hard to believe, but Nathan and I actually went OUT last night without a child in tow! Can you believe it? I hardly can! We met some friends up at the Taco House for supper, then headed down to the bowling alley. While waiting for league to finish, we played pool in the bar. I suck at it. We were entertained by a woman that was either mentally ill or on something strong. She hit on all the guys in a strange, undecipherable way, and gave me a hug. Whoever she was, I hope that she got home safe. I bowled a carrier high 79. Go me!

I just finished watching Twilight. It wasn't as good as the book, of course, but passable. None of the characters look like how I imagined them.

Now to catch up on weekend errands and projects. I should start making lunch.

Appreciate Life!

On Tuesday, my grandfather passed away. On the same day, a good friend lost somebody dear. Both losses were due to health issues not uncommon in the elderly, and while both difficult to those close to them, not completely unexpected.

Sometimes it takes the untimely death of somebody you know, or a celebrity, to really make you wake up and smell the coffee. How can a healthy woman have what looked to be a minor fall, get up from it feeling fine, have a headache an hour later, and then be dead two days later? That could be any of us. I'm a total clutz, I'm half convinced that this WILL be the way that I die. My husband doesn't wear a helmet when he rides his bike, and refuses to even after I bought him one. I have friends that ride their motorcycles without helmets.

I'm not sure if I want to stop and appreciate life more, or always wear a helmet, and wrap myself in a bubble paper protective wrap? Perhaps both is needed. I'll try not to take my friends and family for granted as much as I have. And if you see me or my child in a helmet, wrapped in bubble paper, and wearing a life preserver, I'm just being sensible and prepared.

Happy 3.14159265 Day!

That is Pi, if you didn't realize that. Apparently I missed Talk Like A Pirate Day yesterday. That makes me sad :( But, not like I did anything to celebrate Pi Day. I did not encounter any circles that I felt the need to discover the circumference of.

I had a good morning working at the clinic. Janet, my mother-in-law, wasn't feeling well so Syd went out to my aunt and uncle's place. She loves visiting Val & Terry! Even better, my cousin Nick's kids were visiting, so she got to play with Jac & Diego. I got a few pics of the three of them. Mine was the least cooperative.







After leaving there, Syd and I went to Menard's for dog food. Then we came home and chilled out. I burned a frozen pizza while Nathan was at a bowling tournament. I finished reading the book, Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer, that I started last night. I'll start the fourth and currently last book in the Twilight series when I go to bed. I don't know if this is the last, or the last for now. I've refrained from finding out much about them until I finish this one.

I'm hoping that we can go to the Taco House tomorrow, now that they are open for the season. I figure that this is false hope though.

Yes, I'm so exciting! Wait until you see what kind of adventurous pickles I get myself into tomorrow!

Friday, March 13

Friday the 13th! Woooooo!! Nothing bad happened, not that I was expecting it to. I am not superstitious!

I worked at the gym in the afternoon. It was relatively uneventful, other than something that a guy working out told me about the Taco House. I'm not sure that it was disturbing enough to make me not want their food, though. In fact, I asked Nathan to pick some up on his way home from work! He didn't want to drive from Emmetsburg to Milford and back to Spencer, so he brought home Taco John's instead. I want me some Taco House, though.

Harry's face is looking better. It's still painful for me to mess with it, but he lets me. The swelling isn't as hard, and when I squeeze it, only blood tinged serum comes out. Glad to not see any puss. I'd prefer to not have to put him on antibiotics, as they always upset his stomach. He is losing some pigment on his lips, though. Last time that happened, I switched the water bowl from plastic to stainless steel and it went away. It occurred to me that he has been drinking out of an automatic water station that came with the automatic feeder that I bought for the cats. I'll have to put the auto water station behind the baby gate so that he can't drink out of it.

Other than that, not much else is happening. I finished 'New Moon' last night, and started both 'World War Z' and 'Eclipse' tonight. I only started 'World War Z' because I had a few hours before I picked up the last two Twilight books. I'm turning into a book fiend. Thanks to Erica for letting me borrow those last two, so that I didn't have to wait an eternity until Nathan got them back in at the library.

Well, it's time to run a bath for Syd. Until next time...

Dangerous Breed Warning

I got this in an e-mail, and in a note on Facebook. I worry that this
could happen to us someday.

If you are an owner of a dog that belongs to a "dangerous-breed" category and also have a small child, please take this as a warning. Don't leave your dog with the child unattended under any circumstances. Only a little moment was enough for the following to happen. See the photo below:

Thursday, March 12

I wonder how many people actually read this? I've gotten a little feedback that some do, but I wonder if it's worth the effort to update it as often as I have been trying recently. No worries, I will likely fall off the wagon and stop posting again.

Today I worked 3 - 7 at the gym. It was overall pretty uneventful. Thursday nights seem to be getting busier and busier, though. It's a good thing, and I hope that it continues on into the summer.

Harry's face looks less swollen, but if I palpate the area, the swelling seems hard. He let me look at it inside his mouth, and I don't see any purulent discharge. If I squeeze it pretty hard, he cries. He's such a good dog. There is a little bit of an odor, but being that I don't go around smelling his breath on purpose and taking notes on it, it might be the same. I chose not to jump to antibiotics just yet as mouth wounds tend to heal fast, and everything seems to give him violent diarrhea and vomiting. And when that is already a common side effect of most antibiotics, they and Harry's gastrointestinal tract are a messy combo. I just hope that it doesn't get infected.

I'm almost done with the second book in the Twilight series. I think it's called New Moon? Not sure, I just consider it Book Two and am devouring it. Can't wait to get on with the third! I was a bit dismayed with an early turn of events in the book, but it's getting awesome and exciting again.

Better get back to my book, and let Nathan have the computer...

Something else for me to be neurotic about...

Maybe I need to start finding recipes for homemade soap!

Click Here For Original Article

Group: Cancer-Causing Chemicals Found in Baby Bath Products

By Lyndsey Layton
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, March 12, 2009; 6:02 PM

More than half the baby shampoo, lotions and other infant care products analyzed by a health advocacy group were found to contain trace amounts of two cancer-causing chemicals, the organization said today.

Some of the biggest names on the market, including Johnson& Johnson Baby Shampoo and Baby Magic baby lotion, tested positive for 1,4 dioxane or formaldehyde, or both, the non-profit Campaign for Safe Cosmetics reported.

The chemicals, which have both been characterized as probable carcinogens by the Environmental Protection Agency, are not intentionally added to the products and do not appear on ingredient labels. Instead, they appear to be byproducts of the manufacturing process. Formaldehyde is created when other chemicals in the product begin to break down over time, while 1,4 dioxane is formed when foaming agents are combined with ethylene oxide or similar petrochemicals.

The organization tested 48 baby bath products ranging from bubble bath to shampoo. Of those, 32 contained trace amounts of 1,4 dioxane and 23 contained small amounts of formaldehyde. Seventeen tested positive for both chemicals.

"Our intention is not to alarm parents but to inform parents that products that claim to be gentle and pure are contaminated with carcinogens, which is completely unnecessary," said Stacy Malkin, a spokeswoman for the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, which is calling for the federal government to more aggressively regulate personal care products such as shampoos, lotions and makeup.

Companies that manufacture and sell the products tested by the group stressed that they comply with government standards.

"The FDA and other government agencies around the world consider these trace levels safe, and all our products meet or exceed the regulatory requirements in every country where they are sold," Johnson& Johnson said in a statement. "We are disappointed that the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics has inaccurately characterized the safety of our products, misrepresented the overwhelming consensus of scientists and government agencies that review the safety of ingredients, and unnecessarily alarmed parents."

The European Union has banned 1,4 dioxane as an ingredient in personal care products, but the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has not established a safe limit for the chemical in shampoo, lotion, and other toiletries. It maintains that the trace amounts found in those products are not harmful.

A 1982 study by the FDA showed that 1,4 dioxane can penetrate human skin when used in lotions.

Health advocates argue, however, that federal regulators have failed to consider the cumulative impact of chemicals in personal care products.

"The levels we've found are relatively low and the industry often says there's just a little bit of carcinogen in my product," Malkin said. "The problem is, we're finding a little bit of carcinogen in many products. Many of these products are used every day, so we've got repeated and frequent exposure to these low levels of chemicals. They're not the safest and purest products, and parents ought to know that."

In addition, government studies have not examined the impact of chemical exposure on the particular vulnerabilities of infants and children, whose bodies are still developing, the advocates said.

Several Democratic lawmakers said the report was evidence that the nation's chemical regulation system needs reform.

"The fact that we are bathing our kids in products contaminated with carcinogens shows how woefully out of date our cosmetics laws are and how urgently they need to be updated," said Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-Ill.). "The science has moved forward; now the FDA needs to catch up and be given the authority to protect the health of Americans."

Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-Calif.) called the findings "horrifying" and said she intends to introduce legislation that would require stronger oversight of the cosmetics industry.

The report can be found at www.safecosmetics.org/toxictub

Luckiest Guy EVER

I just had to share this video. This guy is SO lucky to be alive. Amazing!

Wednesday, March 11

It was a good day at work. I like it when we are busy!

Harry managed to injure himself trying to bite Grant. Grant has some bruising on his muzzle, but Harry has a laceration inside of his lip. Serves him right! Both dogs were bathes and smell very nice.

I finished the first book in the 'Twilight' series tonight. I'm really enjoying these books. Now, off to lie in bed and dig into the next one!

Tuesday, March 10

It is afternoon on March 10th. We are having freezing rain, and Syd and I have stayed home all day. Nathan went to work is usual.

I did not update my blog from yesterday, but I worked in the morning at the clinic, and in the afternoon at the gym. The missing dust mop was found!

Yeah, I said that I would pay more attention to my blog, but I did not promise that I would be reporting anything exciting...

A couple of Sydney Videos...

Baby's First Black Eye

 

So far we have been lucky, not a lot of bumps and bruises compared to a lot of kids by this age. It doesn't make me feel any less terrible about her first black eye. It looks worse in real life.

Sunday, March 8

I'm going to try to get a little bit better about blogging. I am going to do things a little bit differently. I'm not sure that I will upload as many photos here, as it doesn't seem to be working as well. But, off to the side you will find a link to our extensive online photo galleries. My mobile pictures are uploading there fine, and this is also where I am storing photos that I am sharing from the regular cameras. Honestly, I think I will be sharing more photos by doing it this way. Also check out our family website at odnarb.com. I've made a lot of changes, and think it looks nice. I've added a Twitter status update both to this blog, and to that page, so you can see what I'm up to most of the time.

Things have been good around here. Nathan had something exciting happen. I'll just copy and paste from his blog to share...

Thank you all for your interest in the grants the Palo Alto County Libraries received through the local casino gaming license holder. Over $1.6 million in grants were given away to worth organizations in and/or serving Palo Alto County. All of the grants awarded were 25% matching grants

For my part, I was involved in the writing of six grants: two for Emmetsburg, two for Ruthven, and two for the Palo Alto County Library Association. All six of the grants were awarded. What a thrill to get to up to accept that many certificates!

At Emmetsburg, we are being funded for a Playaway startup collection. The grant is a $10,000.00 project and should buy 150-200 Playaways for adults, young adults, and children. Both fiction and non-fiction titles will be purchased.

The Friends of the Emmetsburg Library received a grant to do a Books for Babies program. The Friends will put together their own kits with custom-embroidered bibs, board books, and early literacy materials donated by the Library Service Areas. All babies born at the Palo Alto County Hospital will receive the kits. The total project was $1,523.00

At Ruthven, we had our Summer Reading Program to Remember Grant project fully funded ($2,000.00 project). With this we are looking to enhance our summer reading program by buying extra materials, hosting multiple outside programmers, and going all out in all regards for the SRP.

Also at Ruthven, we are looking to redo our children's are with new furnishings and a new shelving unit. Total project costs: $3,600.00.

The Palo Alto County Library Association is looking administer a $7,500.00 project in putting a digital multimedia projector in each library in the county. The projector can be used for in-library programs and can be checked out to bona fide community groups.

The Palo Alto County Library Association also applied for and received a grant for a membership for each of the county's five libraries in the WILBOR Audiobook Consortium, a $4,560.00 project.

Though I did not write it, my library at Emmetsburg will be positively affected by Iowa Lakes Community College receiving a $2,260.00 project to install automatic doors to the library complex.

Other libraries in Palo Alto wrote and got grants, too. Graettinger was awarded a grant for an $8,700.00 project to digitize their newspaper collection. Mallard was awarded a $2,200.00 project to use for technology upgrades. The biggest of all was the Graettinger Community Schools $36,142.00 project to update their library media center.

It was indeed a great night for the libraries in the community. The best news is that we can do this again next year at this time!

I'm very excited about all of this, and very proud of my husband!

Otherwise, things are the same as ever. Syd is getting bigger, and is about ready to start walking. I am getting tired of winter.

Today we pretty much stayed around the house. We had Papa Murphy's for supper. It was good.