Friday, November 06, 2009

Lacking the Football Gene

It's that time of year again, a time when I spend a good deal of my
time scratching my head in confusion. It's a time when formerly
sensible friends and loved ones suddenly start speaking in tongues.
Most of you call it football season.

I don't get football at all. It's not that I don't get sports at all.
Hockey, soccer, and tennis all make perfect sense. I've been known to
catch a baseball game. The overall game of golf makes sense, and I'm
slowly figuring out the details. I am currently watching my favorite
NBA team on ESPN (and typing this during halftime). But football?

I've tried to understand it. My husband tries to explain it to me, as
have other people. I'm still drawing a blank. I see a bunch of guys
moving around the field randomly. They continually gather into groups,
only to split apart and violently slam each other into the ground. It
seems to me that it is usually they guy with the ball getting creamed
by guys of the opposing team, but I'm not sure that is always the
case. Between skirmishes, the guys wander around aimlessly or stand
idly until they appear to be needed. Sometimes they turn off the clock
when they do that, sometimes they don't. That baffles me. It's like
watching an alien species move around in a patternless manner.

Am I missing a necessary gene for decoding football? Is it just me?
I'd hate to think that I am alone.

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